Lindsey in Georgetown, KY

ONE CENT: Dear Lindsey -

One thing I know is this: don't start the conversation with, "So, how was school today?" unless you're hankering for a one word answer followed by dead silence!

We actually have a long standing tradition which we've creatively named "High/Lows".  Sometime in the middle of dinner I'll announce, "It's time to do High/Lows."  Everyone at the table then takes a turn saying, "My high of the day was....." and "My low of the day was....."  This leads to great opportunities to ask questions and get a unique window into their lives at school, afterschool activities and with their friends.  It's also a fantastic way as parents to model good listening skills, patience and empathy.  We encourage everyone to find a "high", even on the "lowest" of days.

We've expanded this tradition so that over New Year's Eve Dinner we have a High/Low discussion incorporating the entire year.  Our last few New Year's Eve dinners have both flown by while lasting over three hours!  

"High/Lows" has been a great and organized way to give everyone, young and old, an equal chance to be at the head of the table!

TWO CENT: Dear Lindsey,

Well, we stole that high-low ritual from the One Cent Family a couple of years ago after visiting with them and have enjoyed it very much since then.

I’ll go ahead and state the obvious — make sure there’s no television within earshot of your during dinner and don’t accept phone calls between bites.  (One Cent, this means texting too... unless you're texting me!)

Another way to have peace at mealtimes?  This may sound like cheating, but there are wonderful shortcuts in preparing the meals which give you a great deal more time hanging out with the family instead of cleaning up the kitchen afterwards. I live near Nashville, so I go to Super Suppers in Franklin, Tennessee (although they are located all over the country).  They have wonderful menu options — healthful ones too — and can assemble your meals and have them ready for you to pick up.  The food is labeled with easy directions and clean up is a cinch.  Although it sounds extravagant, most of the meals end up costing around $3 per serving.  If your freezer was full of good and easy food, it might take the load off of you to be the (pre-prison) Martha Stewart and free you to spend more time talking with your family.

Lastly, don’t let dinner be so “kid-focused” that you don’t use it as an opportunity to share what’s going on in your life.  If there are office-related dramas you had during the day, the kids might feel honored to be privy to the kinds of problems you face.  If your best friend said something rude to you, it might be a good time to tell the kids how you dealt with it.

Dinner has come a long way since the Leave it to Beaver model, but with a little effort and planning it can still be a meaningful way to reconnect.  Bon Appetit!