"Inundated Natalie" in Cambridge

ONE CENT: Dear "Inundated,"

Perhaps you and your son can sit down and have a talk about using birthdays as a time to give as well as receive.  You could go over some of the things he is passionate about and try and find a charity along the lines of his passion. 

For example, if he loves baseball, find a charity that gives free baseball clinics to inner-city youth.  Once you’ve agreed on the charity, have the invitation say, “In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to “Baseball for Everyone” with a description of what “Baseball for Everyone” is about (and/or a link to their website).  

Make a phonecall to the charity explaining your situation and visit a representative with your son, so he can connect his generosity to real people.  Perhaps you could even schedule a field trip to watch/participate in a clinic!!

Make sure you make a big deal about his choice and maybe you can reward him with an extra special birthday present!  Often when a child gets started down a pathway to generous giving, it becomes a part of him.  To top it off, it’s excellent role-modeling for his peers and siblings.

TWO CENT:  Good heavens, "Inundated," don’t make your kid forego birthday presents just to avoid the excess!  Birthday parties are fun because of the extravagance – ice cream, cake, balloons, presents with curly red ribbon.  Instead of focusing on this one day, try to live a more restrained life the other 364 days of the year.  If you cut back during the year, he’ll have less toy “clutter” and be more appreciative of the gifts he gets from friends and loved ones.  One suggestion you might want to consider…  if he gets birthday money from people, encourage him to give some of it away – not necessarily all of it.  But this should be a part of a regular and purposeful plan of giving that lasts all year.