No regrets

Last night, I sat down in front of the television, waiting for my husband to come home from a late meeting so we could watch two-hours of Jack Bauer-induced excitement on 24.  (Will Jack repent of his ways?  Will the President give him another chance?)  While waiting, I channel surfed and came across The Bachelor Season 13 Finale.  

How I wished I hadn’t.

For two hours, the producers dragged out the story line.  Jason, this season’s Bachelor (a single dad from Seattle) makes his final decision between Molly and Melissa, two pretty women in their mid-twenties. As is standard, the network milks the drama for everything it’s worth – in five-minute emotionally laden segments.  After Jason makes his decision and haltingly tells Molly she’s not the one, he breaks down in a heap of tears.  She’s stunned.

Soon after, he’s filmed with a bright smile on his face.  He tells Melissa she would make him the happiest man in the world if she said yes to his marriage proposal.  Apparently, her parents refused to appear on The Bachelor, wisely saying that meeting their future son-in-law was “sacred” and shouldn’t be shared with millions of strangers.  (Instead of seeing this as a positive sign of his future in-laws wisdom, he sees it as an obstacle to overcome and wonders what’s wrong with her family.)

Melissa, however, is undaunted, follows her heart, and squeals “Absolutely!”  

Cue helicopter shots, jumping into a pool in their evening clothes, and incessant twirling around -- which on the playground signifies the desire to be dizzy but on television signifies extreme romantic joy.

Fast forward six weeks.

Jason is sitting on the couch with a therapeutically voiced host, whom he tells that things aren’t going well.  On live television, he tells the show’s host he doesn’t want any regrets in life.  When Melissa joins them – on live television  -- Jason breaks up with her.  Again he explains to Melissa, “I think the worst thing in the world is to live your life with regrets.”  He admits he can’t stop thinking about Molly.

Melissa says, “Don’t call me, don’t text me, just leave me alone” and hands him her large barely worn engagement ring.  

I tried to stop watching, but I was mesmerized.

Bachelorette #2 – Molly, the rejected one--  then appears onscreen with the host (unaware of what just transpired between Jason and Melissa) and explains how she’s dreamed of Jason coming back to her.  She says in the six weeks after being rejected by Jason, none of her feelings of love for him had wavered.  

After the flip-flop, the Bachelor says, "What's most important is we're both following our hearts and doing what is right for us, even though it is impacting other people.  I think if people can see us truly following what is inside us, everybody will understand because you have to follow your heart.  And if some people don't like it, I get that -- you know, it's not the classiest or coolest thing to do in the world, it's not -- but you can't control what’s inside you."

As a wife, I thought of all the people left in the Bachelor’s wake of “following his heart,” including his ex-wife, his ex-fiance, and his adorable little son who was introduced to both of the Bachelor’s options on camera (complete with kite flying and running on sandy beaches).

But I can’t think about this too much… about The Bachelor’s decision to use his son as a prop on a reality television show.  I can only hope the choices I make each day are the “cool and classy” ones – choices worthy of respect.  Most importantly, I hope I teach my children to make decisions that are thoughtful, honorable, brave and (likely) the most difficult.  

Also, I hope poor Melissa realizes it’s not too late to go back home to her parents, sink into their arms, and thank them for their unwillingness to participate in this show.  And maybe – just maybe – the next time her heart tries to lead her, she’ll pause for a cautious second and hear the cliché ring hollow in her head.

I wish her the best in love and life.  Sometimes, we all need a chance at redemption.

Even Jack Bauer.  Because honestly, he’s never tortured anyone like The Bachelor Season Finale tortured me.