Kitchen table editing

"You’re great at editing!"

It was an unexpected and high compliment coming from John, my wordsmith lawyer husband who often asks me to look at his writing - especially if he's concerned about issues of tone and nuance.

Years ago, with red pen, I looked over reports neatly scripted on yellow pads of paper about the choice topics of herbicides, insecticides and fungicides.  The author was an accomplished Chinese-born scientist with over thirty patents to his name.  Since English was his second language, grammar often stumped him.  I wasn’t an editor or even an elementary school graduate, but rather a dutiful eleven year-old daughter who carefully combed over my Dad’s research pages on a mission to locate grammatical errors.

So, I performed this task throughout my teenage years, some days gladly and some days with the type of disdain and bitterness only an adolescent can muster. The topic of pesticides was incomprehensible to most, but to a young girl, it was also dreadful.

As much as I disliked it, it formed me.  Kitchen table editing was a significant part of my childhood training and it helped me become a better writer and eventually a more patient person.  

Other work during childhood contributed to my growth  - cleaning houses, bussing tables, stuffing envelopes, telephone solicitation, sales work and landscaping.  Each built character and responsibility and by the time I left for college, I knew how to toil for minimum wage.  I also learned to evaluate my buying choices with greater discrimination – were the cool pair of jeans worth a day and a half of work in the hot sun?  
 
These days we have to search harder for these connections as we parent our kids. When they’re young, we often fill their time with play dates and videos, always trying to entertain, but rarely requiring they sweat or endure monotony.  As they get older we try and give them “experiences” – safaris in Africa, art galleries in Paris and Rome, skiing in the Alps, horseback riding in the Adirondacks, eight weeks of overnight summer camp, the World Cup in Italy and the Olympics in Beijing.  These things aren’t inherently bad, but alone, they don’t teach children anything about earning the good stuff.  Cool experiences don’t build great character.  

On the other hand, a summer of stocking shelves before the Stop and Shop opens at 7AM, hauling beds of plants at the local gardening store or cleaning out the pet cages at the animal shelter can be formative.  It can help children recognize it takes all types of people, slogging through work to make this country work as well as it does.  

Life can be chock full of awesome experiences, but slogging through arduous work teaches perseverance and builds character and responsibility.  Don’t be afraid of making them work.  Someday, when you least expect it, they may just thank you for it.

What are ways your family teaches the value of hard work??