My Own Inner Editor

OK, so I know it's a little early in the process to reveal what's behind the curtain, but I have to say how fun it is to have a quality editor like Nancy French at SixSeeds. It makes me wish I had a personal editor to follow me around all day and smooth out the rough edges. For example, I've had a number of email debates over the years with Nancy's husband and SixSeeds contributor, David French, and as a consequence of, shall we say, very direct styles, we have been relegated to the less nice side of the spectrum amongst our friends. But if I only had a personal editor, I'm sure I'd rocket to the other end of the niceness spectrum.

Here's how I imagine it would go down: First thought: "I'm not sure I agree with Dave on that point."

First words typed: "Dave, you're an idiot. You couldn't be more wrong."

Personal Editor (PE): "I love it! You're bringing some real energy to the issue. How about this, and I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but what if you said, 'Excellent points, Dave, but have you considered this point which I respectfully offer . . ."

Me: "OK, well, that does sound better, I suppose."

PE: "And then instead of disagreeing with him, maybe you should acknowledge a common goal and disagree about the means to achieve it."

Me: "OK, but . . ."

PE: "And then instead of disagreeing about the means to achieve your shared goal, maybe you should acknowledge that what he's proposing is equally valid as what you're proposing, so you'll just both do your own thing."

Me: "That sounds pretty good, but . . ."

PE: "And then offer to work side by side in a joint effort to do exactly what he proposed."

Me: "That sounds really good, but shouldn't we have someone else write this?"

PE: "No. I'm glad we had this chat."

A few more exchanges like that with my personal editor and suddenly I'd be revered by all. But let's be frank for a moment. Even more than having my own personal editor, I'd like everyone else to have personal editors.

Now, maybe I'm just sensitive to this issue because I have teenagers in the house, but it seems like we are in the middle of a "lashing out" epidemic. When did the idea of "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" lose out to the idea that we should say whatever we feel whenever we feel like it regardless of the consequences? For some reason, people feel empowered to say whatever they happen to be thinking at the moment.

There are two forces at work here. First is the romanticised ideal of transparency and speaking one's mind. Second is the technological ability to actually speak one's mind to lots of people at any given moment. That's a deadly combination and perhaps a combined force so big it can't be fought, but can only be suffered through until it collapses under it's own weight. In the meantime, having had some experience speaking one's mind, let me just state for the record that it is highly overrated. I don't know about you, but if I were to tally up a list of things I regret saying versus things I regret not saying, I'm sure the former would outnumber the latter by at least five to one. And how often does my first thought end up being one I ultimately agree with? Rarely. So I'm working on getting back to the old school virtue of filtering what I articulate. If only you knew what I really thought about writing in this article, you'd know how well I'm doing.

Assuming it's not realistic to have a personal editor follow me around wherever I go (not that I'm giving up on that idea), I'm going to self impose the following protocol for all my initial thoughts:

(1) Very Positive Thoughts -- don't be overly effusive; could be too good to be true; express cautious optimism.

(2) Postitive Thoughts -- express them as is; probably accurate; downside of articulating a positive thought is minimal.

(3) Negative Thoughts -- use neutral, non-commital, hedged language, give benefit of doubt.

(4) Very Negative Thoughts -- don't say anything; step away from the keyboard; don't trust yourself to even hedge properly; read a book about babies and/or puppies before revisiting the issue. Finally, once you've settled on an undeniable, positive fact (like "my wife is awesome"), look for every opportunity to sneak it into the conversation -- e.g. "John, did you fix the drain in the shower?" "You're awesome; I love you; what was the question?"

We'll see if that works.

I wonder if I'll regret writing any of this tomorrow.