Get the feedBOOKS: Fly Away Home
Thursday, Sep 16th 2010
Questions for Topic and Discussion, taken from www.JenniferWeiner.com:
1. One of Lizzie's counselors in Minnesota suggests that she uses her camera as a distancing strategy, saying, "If you're taking pictures, it takes you out of the story . . . it turns you into an observer instead of a participant." Lizzie instead thinks that her camera offers her a role as the family historian. Which do you think is true, and why?
2. Both Diana and Richard are involved in extramarital affairs with people that they meet at work. Did you judge them and their actions differently? If so, can you explain why?
3. The mother-daughter relationship is central to Fly Away Home. Discuss how the female characters reacted against their mothers in their own life choices.
4. Flight and escape are recurrent themes in the novel. In contrast, HALT is the mantra Lizzie learns in rehab to help her address addictive behaviors. What do you think the author is saying about coping mechanisms? In which instances do these seem to be healthy and effective, and in which are they neither?
5. How are Lizzie and Diana shaped by their relationship with their father? What do their choices in men suggest? Compare and contrast Jeff, Doug, and Gary to Richard. How are they similar, and how are they different?
6. The concept of working mothers is particularly fraught in this novel: both Selma and Diana work in demanding professions that have traditionally been male-dominated, and while Sylvie is not traditionally employed, she admits that she "she took care of Richard, and it was a job that left little room for taking care of anything else . . . sometimes not even her daughters." How important is a career to how each of these women defines herself?
7. When Sylvie tells Tim about the incident between Lizzie and Kendall, she says that she and Richard had chosen incorrectly. Do you agree? Putting yourself in Sylvie's shoes, what would you have done?
8. Diana says that she had essentially arranged her own marriage with Gary, but that perhaps "passion, chemistry, attraction, whatever you wanted to call it, was like a kind of frosting that could be smoothed over the cracks and lumps of a badly baked cake." What do you think about this statement?
9. Sylvie is preoccupied by how the media and public view political wives who "stand by their men." Did reading Fly Away Home change the way you think about women like Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton?
10. We see Sylvie, Diana, and Lizzie both as daughters, and as mothers (or expecting mothers!). Did you see their personalities shift in each role? If so, how?
11. Richard tells a young Diana that "sometimes serving the people—the big-P people—meant that he was less available for the little-P people that he loved." Do you think that in a job as high-powered as Richard's, family relationships inevitably suffer?
12. Lizzie and Diana each seem to define themselves in relation to the other—namely, as each other's opposites. In what ways is this true? In what ways are they similar?
13. Selma asks Sylvie, "Would Richard be happy with a different kind of marriage? A different kind of wife?" Based on what you saw of the Woodruffs' marriage, what do you think? What do you envision happening between Richard and Sylvie?
1. One of Lizzie's counselors in Minnesota suggests that she uses her camera as a distancing strategy, saying, "If you're taking pictures, it takes you out of the story . . . it turns you into an observer instead of a participant." Lizzie instead thinks that her camera offers her a role as the family historian. Which do you think is true, and why?
2. Both Diana and Richard are involved in extramarital affairs with people that they meet at work. Did you judge them and their actions differently? If so, can you explain why?
3. The mother-daughter relationship is central to Fly Away Home. Discuss how the female characters reacted against their mothers in their own life choices.
4. Flight and escape are recurrent themes in the novel. In contrast, HALT is the mantra Lizzie learns in rehab to help her address addictive behaviors. What do you think the author is saying about coping mechanisms? In which instances do these seem to be healthy and effective, and in which are they neither?
5. How are Lizzie and Diana shaped by their relationship with their father? What do their choices in men suggest? Compare and contrast Jeff, Doug, and Gary to Richard. How are they similar, and how are they different?
6. The concept of working mothers is particularly fraught in this novel: both Selma and Diana work in demanding professions that have traditionally been male-dominated, and while Sylvie is not traditionally employed, she admits that she "she took care of Richard, and it was a job that left little room for taking care of anything else . . . sometimes not even her daughters." How important is a career to how each of these women defines herself?
7. When Sylvie tells Tim about the incident between Lizzie and Kendall, she says that she and Richard had chosen incorrectly. Do you agree? Putting yourself in Sylvie's shoes, what would you have done?
8. Diana says that she had essentially arranged her own marriage with Gary, but that perhaps "passion, chemistry, attraction, whatever you wanted to call it, was like a kind of frosting that could be smoothed over the cracks and lumps of a badly baked cake." What do you think about this statement?
9. Sylvie is preoccupied by how the media and public view political wives who "stand by their men." Did reading Fly Away Home change the way you think about women like Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton?
10. We see Sylvie, Diana, and Lizzie both as daughters, and as mothers (or expecting mothers!). Did you see their personalities shift in each role? If so, how?
11. Richard tells a young Diana that "sometimes serving the people—the big-P people—meant that he was less available for the little-P people that he loved." Do you think that in a job as high-powered as Richard's, family relationships inevitably suffer?
12. Lizzie and Diana each seem to define themselves in relation to the other—namely, as each other's opposites. In what ways is this true? In what ways are they similar?
13. Selma asks Sylvie, "Would Richard be happy with a different kind of marriage? A different kind of wife?" Based on what you saw of the Woodruffs' marriage, what do you think? What do you envision happening between Richard and Sylvie?
Title: Fly Away Home
Author: Jennifer Weiner
Publisher: Atria
Buy it: Amazon
The Scoop:
What’s going through the head of the wives of disgraced politicians after they stand next to their husbands – in their appropriately somber navy suits and pearls – and hear things like “I am a gay American,” (McGreevy, James) or “I really like the Appalachian Trail” (Sanford, Mark), or “that’s not my baby” (Edwards, John and every other male guest on Jerry Springer). Jennifer Weiner’s latest novel interestingly focuses not on the shamed politician, but rather his disgraced wife and how she deals with a very public and private betrayal.
Sylvie Woodruff has been married to Senator Richard Woodruff for many years, and has gotten pretty adept at taking care of his every need. She advises him on policy, makes sure every hair is in place, and has ensured that he has the perfect spousal accessory… botoxed, liposuctioned, and (because she’s on a perpetual diet) size six. But one day, while being driven by his staff, the news breaks. Her husband had been caught with a female staffer.
Interesting set-up, especially for those who don’t have the guts to read Elizabeth Edwards “Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life's Adversities.” (In fact, the Edwards true life story is so much worse than what Weiner dreamt up --complicated by the baby, Elizabeth’s disease, and the Oprah interview -- I wonder if the reader will feel the fictionalized scandal isn’t quite dramatic enough?)
It’s also familiar landscape for fans of “The Good Wife,” in which Alicia Florrick’s husband Peter -- a former Chicago state's attorney – is jailed following a very public sex and corruption scandal. The series, partly inspired by the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, focuses on her attempt to find dignity after the scandal:
Michelle King, the show’s creator, explains, “There had been this waterfall of these kinds of scandals, from Bill and Hillary [Clinton], to Dick Morris, to Eliot Spitzer, to name just a few. I think they’re all over our culture. And there was always this image of the husband up there apologizing and the wife standing next to him. I think the show began when we asked, "What are they thinking?" And Robert and I started talking about it from there. ... You know, what’s interesting about a lot of these political scandals is that the women are lawyers, too. Hillary [Clinton] is a lawyer. Elizabeth Edwards is a lawyer. I think that got us thinking along those lines. That is, we knew she had to go back to work, and we had so many female lawyers to draw on.”
In “Fly Away Home,” Syvlie Woodruff is also an accomplished lawyer, who’s apparently lost herself in the marriage. While her husband survives the scandal politically, how does she forgive after the public has moved on? The Woodruffs have adult children, whom Sylvie regrets ignoring all these years. Diana, the oldest daughter, is a no-nonsense doctor trapped in a loveless marriage. Lizzie is a recovering addict and (hitherto) the family screw up. Sylvie can’t help but wonder if her inattentiveness caused her daughters’ problems.
As you can probably tell from the title, the women all go together “home” to a wonderful beach house situated on the foamy Atlantic Ocean where they contemplate their lives, shed the Spanx, and learn to cook.
Yes, to her beach house. Sylvie has many advantages most women never have. Even though she’s nearing sixty, she has to balance the attention of two attractive men… her husband who calls her several times daily to beg her forgiveness and a new potential suitor who owns his own grocery store. She doesn’t have to worry about debts or bills, and her new yoga pants look good on her toned body. (This is similar to many pop culture narratives of divorce. A reader can forgive an author for writing about characters who have lives which are, frankly, more interesting than its readers. However, since so many people deal with infidelity, the message of the book ultimately falls short of inspiration.
The general arc of the book is that Sylvie is learning to put herself first, the same clichéd self revelation that propels weight loss contestants to shed a few pounds and harried moms to check their kids into Mothers’ Day Out programs. The fashionable mantra used to be “taking care of number one,” which turned into “having me time.” In Fly Away Home, the modern message to women everywhere is to make sure you don’t “lose your self in relationship.” The language changes every few years, but the message espoused from television shows, self-help books, and some pulpits is to prioritize your life around yourself.
But isn’t this self-regard what really drove Sylvie to take such care of her maybe-one-day Presidential candidate? Wasn’t her obsession with politics simply an avenue to bigger and better positions in government and in the community – even to the obscuring of a tragic event that her daughter experienced during her teen years?
“Losing your self” sounds like a really terrible fate, until you come face to face with the damage you’re capable of unknowingly doing to your family and friends along the way to the political fundraiser (or the office, or the PTA, or the athletic court). Even worse is the damage you knowingly do to the people you love. This is Sylvie’s heartbreaking struggle as she comes to terms with the ramifications of her life choices. Whereas her self-regard originally took the form of girdles, manicured hands, and being a political prop on her way to redecorating the Oval Office, it gradually changes forms. She gains weight, lets her hair go, and loosens up a bit, but the self-regard thrives… whether cloaked by the thin veil of community activism or by a certain self-righteousness that comes from being betrayed.
Bottom Line: Though the character development wasn’t satisfyingly transformative, the book is an enjoyable one that touches on interesting and entertaining topics. Fans of Jennifer Weiner books won’t be disappointed, but if this is your first Weiner book, choose “Good in Bed” instead. Also, invite your mother or sister to read “Fly Away Home” with you – it’s all about family, and the all-too-frequent dysfunction that comes with it!
Nancy French
Nancy French is an author, commentator, and mother. Her next book, about the year her husband spent in Iraq is due out July 4, 2011. Connect with her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/NancyAndersonFrench and follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/nancyafrench.
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Questions for Topic and Discussion, taken from www.JenniferWeiner.com:
1. One of Lizzie's counselors in Minnesota suggests that she uses her camera as a distancing strategy, saying, "If you're taking pictures, it takes you out of the story . . . it turns you into an observer instead of a participant." Lizzie instead thinks that her camera offers her a role as the family historian. Which do you think is true, and why?
2. Both Diana and Richard are involved in extramarital affairs with people that they meet at work. Did you judge them and their actions differently? If so, can you explain why?
3. The mother-daughter relationship is central to Fly Away Home. Discuss how the female characters reacted against their mothers in their own life choices.
4. Flight and escape are recurrent themes in the novel. In contrast, HALT is the mantra Lizzie learns in rehab to help her address addictive behaviors. What do you think the author is saying about coping mechanisms? In which instances do these seem to be healthy and effective, and in which are they neither?
5. How are Lizzie and Diana shaped by their relationship with their father? What do their choices in men suggest? Compare and contrast Jeff, Doug, and Gary to Richard. How are they similar, and how are they different?
6. The concept of working mothers is particularly fraught in this novel: both Selma and Diana work in demanding professions that have traditionally been male-dominated, and while Sylvie is not traditionally employed, she admits that she "she took care of Richard, and it was a job that left little room for taking care of anything else . . . sometimes not even her daughters." How important is a career to how each of these women defines herself?
7. When Sylvie tells Tim about the incident between Lizzie and Kendall, she says that she and Richard had chosen incorrectly. Do you agree? Putting yourself in Sylvie's shoes, what would you have done?
8. Diana says that she had essentially arranged her own marriage with Gary, but that perhaps "passion, chemistry, attraction, whatever you wanted to call it, was like a kind of frosting that could be smoothed over the cracks and lumps of a badly baked cake." What do you think about this statement?
9. Sylvie is preoccupied by how the media and public view political wives who "stand by their men." Did reading Fly Away Home change the way you think about women like Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton?
10. We see Sylvie, Diana, and Lizzie both as daughters, and as mothers (or expecting mothers!). Did you see their personalities shift in each role? If so, how?
11. Richard tells a young Diana that "sometimes serving the people—the big-P people—meant that he was less available for the little-P people that he loved." Do you think that in a job as high-powered as Richard's, family relationships inevitably suffer?
12. Lizzie and Diana each seem to define themselves in relation to the other—namely, as each other's opposites. In what ways is this true? In what ways are they similar?
13. Selma asks Sylvie, "Would Richard be happy with a different kind of marriage? A different kind of wife?" Based on what you saw of the Woodruffs' marriage, what do you think? What do you envision happening between Richard and Sylvie?
1. One of Lizzie's counselors in Minnesota suggests that she uses her camera as a distancing strategy, saying, "If you're taking pictures, it takes you out of the story . . . it turns you into an observer instead of a participant." Lizzie instead thinks that her camera offers her a role as the family historian. Which do you think is true, and why?
2. Both Diana and Richard are involved in extramarital affairs with people that they meet at work. Did you judge them and their actions differently? If so, can you explain why?
3. The mother-daughter relationship is central to Fly Away Home. Discuss how the female characters reacted against their mothers in their own life choices.
4. Flight and escape are recurrent themes in the novel. In contrast, HALT is the mantra Lizzie learns in rehab to help her address addictive behaviors. What do you think the author is saying about coping mechanisms? In which instances do these seem to be healthy and effective, and in which are they neither?
5. How are Lizzie and Diana shaped by their relationship with their father? What do their choices in men suggest? Compare and contrast Jeff, Doug, and Gary to Richard. How are they similar, and how are they different?
6. The concept of working mothers is particularly fraught in this novel: both Selma and Diana work in demanding professions that have traditionally been male-dominated, and while Sylvie is not traditionally employed, she admits that she "she took care of Richard, and it was a job that left little room for taking care of anything else . . . sometimes not even her daughters." How important is a career to how each of these women defines herself?
7. When Sylvie tells Tim about the incident between Lizzie and Kendall, she says that she and Richard had chosen incorrectly. Do you agree? Putting yourself in Sylvie's shoes, what would you have done?
8. Diana says that she had essentially arranged her own marriage with Gary, but that perhaps "passion, chemistry, attraction, whatever you wanted to call it, was like a kind of frosting that could be smoothed over the cracks and lumps of a badly baked cake." What do you think about this statement?
9. Sylvie is preoccupied by how the media and public view political wives who "stand by their men." Did reading Fly Away Home change the way you think about women like Elizabeth Edwards, Jenny Sanford, Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton?
10. We see Sylvie, Diana, and Lizzie both as daughters, and as mothers (or expecting mothers!). Did you see their personalities shift in each role? If so, how?
11. Richard tells a young Diana that "sometimes serving the people—the big-P people—meant that he was less available for the little-P people that he loved." Do you think that in a job as high-powered as Richard's, family relationships inevitably suffer?
12. Lizzie and Diana each seem to define themselves in relation to the other—namely, as each other's opposites. In what ways is this true? In what ways are they similar?
13. Selma asks Sylvie, "Would Richard be happy with a different kind of marriage? A different kind of wife?" Based on what you saw of the Woodruffs' marriage, what do you think? What do you envision happening between Richard and Sylvie?