Where’s the Parenting in Parenthood?

Ads for the new show Parenthood (Tuesdays 10PM EST) were everywhere we turned during the Olympics, so it probably wasn’t a group of Asian women planning that marketing campaign.   
 
Do you remember the scene in “The Joy Luck Club” where the mom is serving a meal she’s toiled over.  She says, “This dish not salty enough.  No flavor.”  With an introduction like that, one thing you’re not going to be is disappointed.  And the upside is, you could be pleasantly surprised.  Too bad NBC’s marketing department didn’t use the Asian mom “talk it down” plan.  On that plan, they could’ve promoted their new show like this: “Here’s a new show about parenthood.  It’s not that great, but there you have it.” There’s no way to go from there but up!

Extreme marketing aside, as a huge Gilmore Girls fan, I was looking forward to Lauren Graham in the role of Sarah Braverman.  Sarah Braverman is a 38 year-old jobless mom who’s just moved back into her parent’s house for a fresh start. She has two disgruntled teenagers: Amber (who wants to live with her boyfriend rather than move, smokes inside the house and is detained for marijuana possession) and Drew (who’s depressed and eventually runs away).    In no time, she’s on a date with an old flame, rummaging through drawers for her Dad’s condoms and is eventually found in her skivvies by her son Drew.
 
Though Sarah plays a main role, Parenthood is about the entire Braverman clan led by Zeek (Craig T. Nelson) and Camille Braverman (Bonnie Bedelia)  -- Mom, Dad, four adult children and five grandchildren all live in close proximity. Zeek wants his grandson to be tough and even bloodies his nose when teaching him basketball.  His philosophy is “life is a war.”  However, his underbelly is soft which you see when serious issues arise.
 
The eldest Braverman, Adam, is married to pretty blonde Kristina who are the parents of teenager Haddie and 8 year-old Max.  While Haddie looks like the perfect child (which only leads me to believe she might be in for a big fall sometime later in the series – or next week since issues are so rapidly brought up in this show), young Max dresses like a pirate, doesn’t look anyone in the eye, is obsessed with Legos and gets so frustrated with a taunting classmate that he tackles and bites him.  School administrators suggest he be tested and he’s diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome (a high functioning form of autism).  
 
When Kristina explains the diagnosis to Adam, I finally felt the show had heart. Even with the crazy plot pace, the drama slows down enough to allow the parents to begin dealing with a big, difficult and lifelong issue.  They’ll need each other’s support.
 
The other daughter Julia is a high-powered lawyer with a Blackberry glued to her ear.  Her husband is a stay-at-home dad and their daughter prefers Daddy for everything… much to Julia’s chagrin.
 
Then there’s the youngest son Crosby who’s thirty-one, but acts half his age. He’s back with his longtime girlfriend, whose biological clock is ticking so loudly she’s storing another man’s sperm in her freezer.  The 34 year-old is so ecstatic when Crosby agrees to father her child in three years, she leaps into his slacker arms, wraps her legs around him and thanks him profusely.  (You’re probably a woman if you find this gratitude unbelievable.)
 
Properly thanked, it’s time for Crosby to meet up with his old flame, who abruptly announces the cute little boy darting behind the bushes is his son. Surprise! And he thought fatherhood was three years away!  
 
Though it doesn’t live up to the hype, the heart of this show is actually well-intentioned. It’s all about being there for each other during good times and bad. However, loose ends and over the top storylines abound.  Sure, family life is complicated, but the elements of this family are so exaggerated, I had a hard time staying with them long enough to care.
 
The parenting element in Parenthood leaves much to be desired.  For the teen set: premarital sex seems the norm, smoking is allowed, getting caught in jail for marijuana possession is not addressed and a kid running away from home (150 miles away!) is hardly reprimanded.  Adam, the coach of his son’s baseball team, completely loses his temper when the ump calls his son out at 1st base, but there’s no follow-up conversation about his parental tantrum.
 
"Friday Night Lights” (series with same producer) is an example of a show that takes a cast as large as Parenthood’s and weaves them in and out of each other’s lives in real, poignant and interesting ways.   Bad behavior is addressed and has consequences, like in real life, and FNL deals with this honestly.  “Brothers and Sisters” creatively discusses family in a way that makes you sometimes long to be in the Walker clan, no matter how dysfunctional it is.  Even “Phineas and Ferb”, a kids’ show that’s a cartoon, has more fully developed relationships than this.
 
Parenthood has family “dysfunction” down pat, but leaves out a critical element in family-life…the parenting.  

And no team of marketers can make up for that.