Los Angeles and Dallas: The Best Auditions

The blandness of the Los Angeles and Dallas try-outs of American Idol were punctuated only by "fame-o-sexuals" trying desperately to get attention with microscopic outfits and crude humor. But enough about Katie Perry's guest-judging stint.  The other guest judge, Avril Lavigne, was simultaneously condescending and boring, intentionally emitting an "I'm too cool for this" vibe while wearing a hoodie with devil's ears attached.

Yes, the Los Angeles episode was not the best Idol has offered.  The guest judges in Dallas -- Joe Jonas and Neil Patrick Harris -- lightened the mood, thankfully, and distracted us from the otherwise banal auditions.  There were some moments, however:

For example, Michael Slezak, my favorite EW writer, described Jim Ranger's audition pefectly: "I'm still having difficulty grasping how and why Avril implied that bearded ''worship pastor'' Jim Ranger shouldn't get a Golden Ticket because he was (gasp!) married, and (oh-em-gee!) said marriage had produced three (how do we say this politely) child-type creatures! Okay, so that's not exactly how Avril put it, but her weirdly dismissive questions about Jim's brood, and her condescending newsflash that ''to be a pop-star you have to travel'' seriously rubbed me the wrong way."

Tasha Layton is a preacher who could belt out a song (apparently a benefit to ministry):

Andrew Garcia's parents lived in Compton, and they had the gang hand gestures (and blurred out photographs) to prove it.  But Andrew bought some awesome glasses, got married, and had a kid.  And he's determined to provide a better life for his family:

Chris Golightly has had 25 sets or parents, give or take. In addition to proving how messed-up the foster care system is, he can sing:

Todrick Hall was in "The Color Purple" with Fantasia, and sang a great original ditty for the judges:

Lloyd Thomas is sick of being a "dock worker" for an airline.  And, if this audition is any predictor of success, he may have picked up his last box:

Arkansan Dave Pittman has Tourette's Syndrome, which miraculously doesn't manifest itself when he sings:

See the best auditions from Idol's first two episodes here!

Lloyd was my favorite -- who was your fave?