Fixing Soccer

Last week, Tom Walsh provided a tongue-in-cheek look at the World Cup.  In our ongoing World Cup series, Nathan Whitaker shares his philosophical problems with the game and some suggested fixes, while next week we'll change course and learn why this is a truly beautiful game.

Even though some in the American media continue to persuade otherwise [Rick Reilly link http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5288738], I'm trying to like the World Cup, really I am.  I've actually watched parts of four games, which matches my all-time World Cup watching - and we've only just begun the second round!  Unfortunately, like many Americans, I carry a little baggage when it comes to soccer:

Even though some in the American media continue to persuade me otherwise, I'm trying to like the World Cup, really I am.  I've actually watched parts of four games, which matches my all-time World Cup watching - and we've only just begun the second round!  Unfortunately, like many Americans, I carry a little baggage when it comes to soccer:

I arrived at Duke in 1987, excited to watch the sport.  After all, it was the only sport in which Duke had won a national championship (1986), and we were ranked in the top 10 when I arrived.  Like everybody else my age, I had played as a kid, and had frankly enjoyed the old North American Soccer League games of the Tampa Bay Rowdies.  (The Rowdies drew crowds that averaged 25,000 in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and as I recall, played games that had scores around 4-3, on average.)  So there I was, the fall of my freshman year in a standing room only crowd in 50 degree weather, watching third-ranked Duke face off against top-ranked Virginia.  We lost, 1-0, on an excuse-me goal in the last minute of the second overtime.  There were probably 4 shots on goal - total - during the 120 minutes of "action."

I never recovered any interest in soccer.  I wandered out to our soccer stadium three years later and watched a little of the Duke-Wake Forest game.  Wake was nationally ranked, and seemed to have emerged as a powerhouse by playing all 11 players on defense, hoping for a 0-0 outcome, then "winning" in penalty kicks.  What lesson does that teach my kids?  Be safe.  Poke around.  Don't take chances. Guess what?  0-0 in life is a loss.  There is no overtime. Penalty kicks ain't coming.  You either do it in regulation or it doesn't happen.

Contrast that with kids' soccer.  I love watching kids playing soccer - swarms of little feet all recklessly trying to score with passion and abandon.  They figured out that the point is to have more goals than the opponent, so they try to...wait for it...score.  The World Cup teams would be well-suited to try that sometime.

With all due respect, I would offer some changes that would help with my enjoyment and what I think it could teach my kids.  I recognize that they wouldn’t fly with soccer purists, but hey – this is my piece! 

First, introduce the equivalent of a "backcourt" rule that is similar to basketball.  As it stands, teams tentatively start to move the ball forward, then, if they don't like the way things shape up, they kick it back into their own end.  I suppose there’s a strategy I don't fully appreciate -- but it really adds to the dullness.  Kick it forward!  Act like you're trying!  I think they should lose the ball if they play tentatively and kick it back across the midfield line after moving it across.  Free kick just outside the penalty box for a violation. 

That should probably be coupled with a rule (again, like basketball) that  you've got ten seconds to advance the ball across midfield.  Fine - 20 seconds.  If you don't?  Free kick just outside the penalty box. 

The other rule change?  Kill the offside rule.  Give me an incentive to push the ball - and my players - forward.  Really forward.  Not just up around the 35-yard line, trying to catch somebody else offsides.  Again, it's that focus on not losing.  If I can take advantage of moving players aggressively forward, let's do it.  More offense - try to win. 

Finally, I think we need to address the writhing around on the ground.  First, simply have a little guts.  The sport - unlike others - glorifies rolling around in pain. Even fencers running around with their epees are tougher, for crying out loud - as we all saw James Bond, bleeding, continuing to fence in "Die Another Day."  Have a little courage.  Drag yourself to the sideline.  Get back into the game.  American sports (like football) carry this too far, of course, even to the player's detriment (as we are witnessing now, with new football concussion awareness efforts).  

 Non-American football?  Oh my.  Two players make contact, and one is on the ground writhing as if his or her femur has exploded.  Only someone with a compound fracture or being waterboarded could be in so much agony.  And then . . . they look around, see that they aren't going to get the call, leap to their feet and start running (of course, they haven't missed anything, because their team has simply kicked it back to their goalie to try and work time off the clock). 

Even if we assume that all soccer players have staggeringly low pain thresholds, to me it shows a lack of sportsmanship. Playing passively, not to lose.  Faking injury.  Blech. 

But I'm trying.  And for those who saw the exciting Switzerland 1-0 win over Spain and said, "Why?," I say "Why not?"  Why not . . . . no offsides, a backcourt rule, a clock, and a 6-5 win?!

 Now that would be football.