New on DVD: Sly Stallone, Julia Roberts, and Joaquin Phoenix

 Like an old married couple, Sylvester Stallone's "The Expendables" and Julia Roberts' "Eat Pray Love" are reviving an their former box office battle by releasing DVDs on the same day. They were released in theaters the same day as well, where "The Expendables" blew "Eat Pray Love" out of the water with about 1000 pounds of TNT. Literally. Read our original take on the estrogen vs. testosterone battle.

The Expendables

Action

The Gist: Aging mercenaries rescue an island from the grip of a nasty dictator and his CIA handler. The dictator, of course, has a lovely, freedom-loving, and somewhat helpless daughter who must be rescued as well. If it takes blowing up the entire island to save it, so be it.

The Ups: Lots and lots of explosions. Then they take what's left over, shoot it with machine guns, bazookas, and guns that haven't even been invented yet. Then they blow it up again. Between the fireballs, there's a surprising amount of both pathos and humor. Plus, it's fun to see 80s and 90s action stars back in, um, action.

The Downs: How to put this? These particular bodies have a lot of miles on them, so to speak. They've been patched up with varying degrees of success and/or realism. Case in point, Mickey Rourke.

The Verdict: Rent it. Too much fun.

Be Aware: R for strong action and bloody violence throughout, and for some language. Mostly, it's the violence, which rarely lets up but is not particularly gory.

Eat Pray Love

travelogue/self-help book

The Gist: An angsty New York woman sets off to find truth in Italy, India, and Bali. But she can't leave herself behind.

The Ups: The food in Italy looks really, really good.

The Downs: This film made me want to stand up and throw my popcorn at the screen, which is generally not done in critic circles. It is gratingly self-indulgent, whiny, and way too long.

The Verdict: If you're invited to see the movie, or to go on a date with a woman similar to the protagonist, run like the dickens.

Be Aware:  PG-13 for brief strong language, some sexual references and male rear nudity.

I'm Still Here

Alleged documentary

The Gist: Actor Joaquin Phoenix, best known for his excellent portrayal of Johnny Cash in "Walk the Line," announced that he was retiring from acting to become a white, heavily bearded rapper. This documentary follows his journey, with lots of stops to do drugs, behave badly, and act bizarrely.

The Ups: A good acting job by Phoenix. The boy can act.

The Downs: Most of the buzz about this film centered on speculation on whether it was a real documentary of actual events or a hoax in which Phoenix and director Casey Affleck fooled us into thinking it was real. Affleck later admitted it was fake. The question resolved, the movie becomes much less interesting. Plus, who cares if Phoenix retires or not?

The Verdict: Unless you're a big Joaquin Phoenix fan, skip it.

Be Aware: R for sexual material, graphic nudity, pervasive language, some drug use and crude content  

Read more by the same author:

Voldemort Strikes Back

Review of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1"

Loss and Love

Adoption in Movies

Blue, Zany Fun

Review of "Megamind"