Movie Review: The A-Team

Ba da da....dum dum dum. Just hearing the musical theme to The A-Team puts me back in front of the family TV, when MTV was new and cool, the "remote" was connected to the TV by a cable, and my hair required half a can of hair spray to keep that Princess Di feathered look.

The A-Team was the ultimate boredom buster, mind candy for a half hour. Fortunately, the movie fills the same shoes nicely. If you have a boredom problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can fork over ten bucks to watch... The A-Team.

The film starts in Mexico, where Face (Bradley Cooper) has gotten himself in trouble with a gangster's wife and Hannibal Smith (Liam Neesom) forges a plan to save him. Meeting B.A. "Bad Attitude" Baraccus (Quenton Jackson stepping in for the irreplaceable Mr. T) and his fly old-school van in the desert, the team springs "Howling Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copely) from a mental asylum. The four former Army Rangers start the beginning of a beautiful friendship as they blast, shoot, and fly their way back to American soil. Why were they pursuing Mexican gangster/police types? We don't know. We're just glad everyone had big guns.

Fast-forwarding to the Iraq war years later, the team lives the high life in the Green Zone and runs "ridiculous" missions for the army. Apparently, a machine to print US currency is in the wind, one dating back to the Shaw of Iran, and someone needs to stop it leaving Baghdad. I was very surprised to learn that money making equipment from 1979 could be used now. I could swear my money looks different than it did in 1979. But it's in a movie, so it must be true.

Colonel Lynch, the hapless military police man who futilely chased the military fugitives in the TV series, is upgraded to shadowy CIA operative. Some sharp studio exec noticed that the TV series was heavily male-centric, sadly and unaccountably lacking in pretty girls, so they added the shapely and lovely Jessica Beil as a true-blue Army captain who wants to secure the machine as much as others want to steal it for themselves. As required by pretty girl, pretty boy law, she has a past with Face.

One thing leads to another, and pretty soon the A-Team is in a military tank, plunging from a destroyed airplane, pursued by murderous drone aircraft, firing back through the wind and clouds as they fall, and cracking wise as they do it.

Now THAT'S what I'm talking 'bout.

The makers of the film wisely know that we're buying tickets to see things explode (with extra points if attractive people kiss) and they don't disappoint. Who cares if a few plot points and characters get muddled? I never really did figure out who "Pike" was, and I don't really care. He had some good lines and shot a mean rocket launcher. What more do you need in a man?

This is not your deep, carefully crated revival, such as Star Trek or The Dark Knight. This is a revival in which we have a few nostalgic laughs ("Oh look, it's B.A.'s van. Ha!") and see things blow up. For the most part, they follow the A-Team ethic of meaningless violence and mostly clean language. There are a few swear words, including two uses of "mother......" drowned out by explosion noise. Lots of bullets fly, but few people get shot. As in the series, it's more dangerous to be a car tire than a person being shot at. However, the action and language was intense enough to garner a PG-13 rating, which is about right.

They get enough right to make the movie enjoyable, if not quite a home run. See if you can spot cameos by Dwight Shultz (the original Murdock) and Dirk Benedict (original Face). Reward yourself with some popcorn and enjoy the ride. Real life will still be there when you get back.