Forgiving Sandra Bullock

Though I have no reason to believe that Sandra Bullock isn't a delightful person, I've never been a big fan of her movie characters.  That's why I walked into the theater recently with some trepidation.   The Blind Side is one of my five favorite books of all time, and I worried Ms. Bullock  cast as Leigh Anne Touhy would ruin it.  I'm delighted to report, however, that both she and the movie were fantastic. 

In fact, they were inspirational.  

Two scenes from the new Warner Bros. Picture Release were particularly poignant, one following the other.  The first was when Michael Oher (the young man who went from being homeless to a star athlete with grades just good enough to qualify for a football scholarship) was being interrogated by the NCAA investigator.  The investigator was introducing a very humble and nervous kid to the idea that his adopted family only took him in so he would play football for their favorite university.  At one point the investigator said something to the effect that the NCAA was concerned that other families might start taking kids off the street so they would play for their favorite schools.

"Yes, that would be terrible,” I whispered to my wife facetiously, “but I’m glad to see the NCAA fighting to protect the integrity of the game by discouraging families from taking care of kids in need."  This scene was followed – predictably - by Michael questioning everything he had come to love and appreciate.  Then Sandra Bullock's character sat down in her bedroom and rather poignantly asked her husband if she was a "good person."  She essentially had taken Michael into their home based on instinct, but now questioned her own motives.  

A measured amount of introspection is undoubtedly healthy and worthwhile.  At least Socrates thought so, when he famously said, "the unexamined life is not worth living."  But I wonder if an overly introspective assessment of one's motives may lead to too few good deeds being done.  It would be hard to honestly assess of one's actions without recognizing a fair amount of "selfish" motives -- "It makes me feel good," "I want to be seen as a good person," "If I help out here, maybe I'll be helped out with something else later."  If we wait until our motives are "pure" to do anything, we might be on the road that Dostoyevsky warned against in Notes From Underground, "After all, the direct, immediate, legitimate fruit of heightened consciousness is inertia, that is, the deliberate refusal to do anything."  

In other words, nothing would ever get done.

(By the way, is someone keeping track of the number of times both Socrates and Dostoyevsky are quoted in a review of a Sandra Bullock movie?  You don’t get that in a review of “While Your Were Sleeping.”)

Back to The Blind Side.  Like all the families in this SixSeed partnership, the Wunderlis have been contemplating ways in which we could help out,. When we lived in New York, we served as informal foster parents for a fine, young man who lived with us for a year.   No good deed ever goes unpunished, of course, which we understood anew when we experienced extreme resistance and outright hostility from our local school administration.  I won't go into details, but I'll summarize by saying that at the very time we were desparately doing everything we could to enroll our new family member in our school, that very school (knowing full well our efforts) reported us to the authorities for neglecting a child because we didn't have him enrolled in school.  I'm not making that up.  Now you know why the scene in the movie with the NCAA interrogator was so uncomfortable for us.  Notwithstanding the difficulties, we were considering beginning the process again, in our new state.

After the movie, my kids were even more enthusiastic about the prospect of adding to our family than they were when they entered.  I, of course, felt it was my duty to point out that it's unlikely that anyone we brought in would go on to play in the National Football League, and it's possible they won't be as nice and helpful as Michael.

I’m sure there will, once again, be difficulties, and the resolve of our family will be tested.  However, as I walked out of the dark movie theater, I knew two things.

First, Deb and I are continuing the process of being licensed to provide foster care in the State of Utah.

Second, Sandra Bullock has really grown on me since I reluctantly saw "The Proposal" -- two perfectly good hours I'll never get back.  

by JOHN WUNDERLI, a Harvard trained litigator, retired little league baseball coach, and supporter of all University of Utah Athletic teams.