Book Review: Mindset

Glancing only at its cover, you might be tempted to write off Mindset: The New Psychology of Success as yet another shallow, indulgent self-help book. On the cover, we read that the book will help us “learn to fulfill our potential” in school, business, parenting and relationships. But Mindset is about as far as you can get from simplistic, ego-coddling affirmation, an approach the book disdains. Instead, Mindset looks at two basic frames of mind--two mindsets--that people adopt with regard to challenges and ability. From this simple idea, it convincingly shows how the mindsets play out in real life--for kids at home and in school, for bosses, spouses and others.

The idea is simple enough, as was its origin. Carol Dweck, a well-known professor of psychology at Stanford University, noticed that some of her students would always try to prove how smart they were, “while others could just let go and learn.” She realized that what separated these two groups was not related to innate ability, but the way they thought about ability. For some, it was a fixed quantity–you either have it or you don’t–and all that mattered was getting validation by others. For others, ability was something that could change over time, so what mattered was challenging yourself, stretching, and persisting in the face of obstacles.

But surely innate ability matters? Yes, but less than you might think. If a lone superstar can do something with little effort or preparation, Dweck believes that many others can do the same with the proper training and discipline.   This is not to say that everyone can become an opera star, or an Einstein. But Dweck shows that the relentless anxiety about “having it” or not, the hallmark of the fixed mindset, is ultimately counterproductive no matter what your ability level. With the fixed mindset, someone pays a price, whether it is the person himself (by refusing to take on challenges that don’t validate their status, and passing up opportunities for developing; or being waylaid by a setback or criticism he cannot handle), or those around him (think about working around John McEnroe, or “Chainsaw” Al Dunlop.)

So how do we nurture the alternative? Dweck’s section on parenting is full of concrete, helpful direction. She warns against over-praising children. Praising children’s talents and gifts will just reinforce a fixed mindset. Instead, parents should praise effort and commitment.  Parents should set high expectations for their kids, but do so in a nurturing atmosphere. (No Simon Cowell-style dismissals here, but no fudging on the expectations, either.)  Dealing with your children’s experiences of failure can be particularly difficult--but Dweck avoids the trap of coddling and low expectation on the one hand, and loving conditionally on the other. Her emphasis on teaching persistence in the face of failure, and learning from mistakes is well nuanced.

One of the things that makes Mindset great as a parenting book is that it’s not just advice for parents to pass along. As the book looks at example after example of the mindsets in action, we as parents see that there are some parts of our own lives where we entertain more of fixed mindset--whether it’s in our professional lives, or relating to our family, or elsewhere. By recognizing it in ourselves, we’re in a much better position to lead our children by example. Do our kids see how we handle setbacks and failure? Do we need them to validate our outstanding qualities? 

The other strength of the book is its copious supply of stories. Want to know more about leading others in developing a growth mindset? Consider the late Coach John Wooden, and learn what he did at UCLA with the basketball team.  Or what teacher Rafe Esquith has done among inner-city second graders. Or how Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner viewed his dyslexia as a gift, since it taught him early on that good things come though hard work.

Bottom line? Mindset would be a great book for families to read and think about this summer. Pick one up and see where it resonates with your family.