Adoption: The Filicetti Family

When/why did you decide to adopt?

We had been thinking about international adoption for many, many years, and simply knew it was a great choice for us.

Do you have any biological children?

No. We have a five-year-old rescue dog from Indiana, and two one-year-old cats.

Whom did you adopt and from where?

A little boy--age 2 ½ from Changsha City, Hunan Province, China.

What was their name, and did you rename them?

We learned of a waiting child with a previous medical diagnosis/past treatment, named Zhilong Li and called “LongLong” who had been living in foster care since turning one. We named him Alexander James. A new name was one of the first enduring things we could give him, with love, that would connect him with his new family. So, Alex is a child with lots of nicknames.

What has been the most surprising aspect of adoption?

Our quest to adopt a child (one we thought would be a healthy baby girl) led us to adopt a toddler boy! The journey was not what we were expecting, and the child we adopted was not the one we initially had expected either. We had been told that China adoption was the most predictable/consistent of international adoption programs, and that we would become parents within 18-24 months & we could look forward to travels with a group of other adopting families via Beijing. Instead, we waited about twice as long, and traveled on our own via Hong Kong. We opted to adopt a waiting child.

What has been the most disappointing?

The very lengthy wait without end in sight. Being given so little concrete information as we continued to wait in the traditional China Program. Time kept passing, and we had no idea that hearing “the wait will probably get longer before it gets shorter” really meant that at the current pace, our wait to become parents since sending our dossier to China could have exceeded 6, 8, or even 10 years! We came to that sobering realization & knew we had to either give up or change course.

What has been the most gratifying?

Getting to know our son and realizing the many ways in which this extraordinary little boy is the perfect fit for our family. Adoption is a real leap of faith, and finally knowing that we were meant for each other & he is meant to be living here is incredibly gratifying.

Did any organization or agency really help you get through the process, financially, emotionally, or otherwise?

Our adoption agency, Wide Horizons for Children in Waltham. ACONE, Adoption Community of New England has very good programs and an annual adoption conference. Many doctors have been especially helpful to us including Dr. Jerri Jenista, an international adoption specialist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Alex’s medical specialists in Boston at Mass Eye and Ear Infirmary, Mass General Hospital, and Jahrling Ocular have offered extremely helpful consults before we adopted as well as exceptionally great medical care this Fall.

What advice would you give people who are considering adoption?

There are lots of possibilities to get excited about. Do your research to learn what options you have. Talk with people to find out what it takes. Have lots of faith, and don’t give up.

Written by Julie LeVeen.  She, her husband, and her son all live in Massachusetts.