These Children are Our Responsibility: Foster Care Adoption

There are so many children whose lives are broken when they are born, so we looked into adoption.  All of our girls have been the biggest joys in our life.  In a grander way than we imagined possible.  It is our greatest hope that they will grow up knowing they are loved and have opportunities.
                                                                      --- Cecelia B.

Adoption.  More than half of all Americans have been touched by adoption and 30% have considered adoption as a way to create or expand their families.  Inter-country adoption and domestic infant adoption are two typical ways for families to move from consideration of adoption to action.  Yet for many, the notion of foster care adoption can feel too difficult with many unknowns and continues to be burdened by negative myths and misperceptions.

When Dave Thomas, the iconic founder of Wendy’s, created the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption in 1992, he insisted that we generate a laser-like focus on the most special of children – children in the foster care system who are waiting for adoptive homes.  As an adoptee, he understood the complexities of the systems and, most important, the needs of children waiting to be adopted in the United States and often said, “These children are not someone else’s responsibility.  They are our responsibility.”  

During the past 18 years, the Foundation has successfully increased both the awareness of this cause and the need for qualified, well-supported foster and adoptive parents.  We know that there are children who need families and that there are families who want to adopt.  It is our job to bring the two together.  

And yet, consider the child welfare landscape even today.  According to the most recent national estimates, last year nearly 2 million investigations of child maltreatment occurred in all 50 states.  As a result of those investigations, 772,000 cases of child abuse or neglect were substantiated by the professionals charged with assuring the safety and care of these very special children.  Ultimately, after procedures defined by statute and jurisdictional protocol, more than 460,000 children were placed in foster or temporary care to assure their safety and to assist the family.  Sadly, for 114,000 individual children, more than 50 percent of whom are age 8 or older, the egregiousness of their abuse, neglect or abandonment demanded not only intensive court involvement and the resulting maze of systems and professionals, but also permanently removed parent from child and child from home.

The balance of children entering the system remains uneven and the length of time in care is frequently too long.  Last year, for example, 70,000 children in foster care were permanently removed from their families of birth, yet only 57,000 children were adopted.  These same children waited in foster care an average of 4½ years to be adopted and many wait even longer.  A wait of four years, a lifetime to a child, is often further complicated by multiple placements in different homes, schools and neighborhoods.  Childhood moves very quickly in four years.
 
I dreamed and hoped for a mommy and a daddy, and a good mommy and daddy, too.
                                                                  --- Tyler, age 6

When our child abuse prevention efforts fail, we rush, as we should, to protect.  There is no more heart-wrenching call to action than that of a child harmed by the very adults she trusts to nurture and care for her.  The critical challenge we face, though, is how to sustain our protection and advocacy on behalf of each child.  We must assure that once they are safe, that they do not linger in placement, move frequently, or all too frequently emancipate at age 18 into a community in which they must function as adults without the safety net or support of permanent families. Last year more than 29,000 left the system as young adults without adoptive families.

How do we tip the balance in favor of the children whose lives have been entrusted to our care and to whom we now owe safe homes and loving, permanent families?  When thinking about adopting from foster care, navigating the unknowns about the public child welfare system can seem daunting.  Add to that the misperceptions and myths that still circulate about the children and the process, and unfortunately the task may seem too large for many potential adoptive parents.  

The plan was to get married and have a family. But everything didn’t happen that way. We considered foster care adoption but we were afraid. Afraid of the process and how difficult it might be. After meeting a family who adopted four siblings, we realized a large family is what we hoped for someday too. Once we were certified to adopt, we received a call about two sisters who were at risk for being separated and needed a permanent home. We said, ‘There is a reason they have been together through everything and we are going to keep them together.’ They called us Mom and Dad from the very first meeting. It was just the confirmation that they were going to be our family.  It was love at first sight for us. It was a miracle for them to come and be a part of our lives.
                                                             -- Charlie and Robin R.

Misperceptions or misinformation about foster care adoption may cause some to pause when they are thinking about adopting.  Some common misperceptions and the reality about foster care adoption include:

1.    It is too expensive to adopt.  In reality foster care adoption is not expensive, typically averaging $0 to $1,500 and financial support is available to families who adopt from foster care.  Subsidies follow most of the children in foster care until they are 18 years old, many employers provide adoption benefits, federal and state tax credits are available and assistance for college expenses of older youth is increasingly available.

2.    Children in foster care are juvenile delinquents.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, and as a result of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment.  More than half of the children waiting in foster care for adoptive homes are age 8 or older, and nearly 30% are age 12 or older.  Unfortunately, each year about 20% of the children waiting to be adopted turn age 18 and leave the system without families.  These are the children who may fall back into the system without the supports needed to grow and thrive.  These children deserve our best efforts to find them the families we promised when they were permanently separated from their families of birth.

3.    The biological parents can try to have the children returned.  Once a child has been made legally free for adoption, birth parents cannot claim a child or petition for his or her return.  Foster care adoption is permanent.  The adoptive parents may decide to maintain contact with the child’s extended biological family, based on what is best for the child, but that is a choice of the adoptive family.

4.    Single individuals cannot adopt.  Unmarried individuals are legally able to adopt in all 50 states. Nearly 30% of the children adopted from foster care last year were adopted by single parents.

Additionally, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption provides free resources to help families navigate the foster care adoption process and assure that every child can have their birthright – a family of their own. And we remain committed to three core beliefs:  

1.    Every child deserves to live in a safe, loving and permanent home.
2.    No child should linger in foster care or leave the system at age 18 without a permanent family.
3.    Every child is adoptable.

Most important, we believe that these children are not someone else’s responsibility.  They are our responsibility.

After adopting our 10-year-old daughter from foster care, I remember the first time I ever received a gift as a mom. It was a locket that said ‘Mom’ on it. When I opened the card, it said ‘I am so happy I finally have a forever mother.’ And she signed it ‘Love, your daughter’. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. We now have two beautiful daughters and it is the best thing that ever happened. I couldn’t ask for anything more.                 
 

                                                            --      Sheri M.


by Rita Soronen, Executive Director
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

ABOUT THE DAVE THOMAS FOUNDATION FOR ADOPTION

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is a national nonprofit public charity dedicated to dramatically increasing the adoptions of the more than 150,000 children waiting in North America’s foster care systems. Created by Wendy’s® founder, Dave Thomas, who was adopted, the Foundation implements results-driven national signature programs, foster care adoption awareness initiatives and research-based advocacy efforts. As the only foundation dedicated exclusively to foster care adoption, we are driven by Dave’s simple value:  Do what’s best for the child.

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